Dumela! Again.

I know it's been a long time since my last post. A lot has happened and at the same time if feels like nothing has happened. My life in Botswana has become normal. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. It's just like a normal work day in America (a bit different) but in a different country. Botswana is suprisingly like America. When you get down to the basics, everyone is trying to find their own happiness no matter what country they live in. People have families just like they do in the states, people spend the weekends with friends, people have 8-4:30 jobs that they sometimes love and sometimes hate. I'm past my one year mark as a Peace Corops volunteer. How do I feel? The same yet completely different. It's funny becasue you hear people say that Peace Crops will change you and I am here to say that it is 100% true, but, it's not always in the way you think it will.

When I got here I was basically the same as I am now. I was a bit (okay a lot) more ignorant about culture here, I had no idea what I was coming into, but I still held the same values and similar beliefs that I do now. I am, at a basic level, completely the same. So how have I changed?
I am a citizen of the world. When I think about identifying myself with one country or nationality, It is overwhelming. I think about my life in America and I don't see how I could possibly fit back where I was. I think about my life here, and as much as I love it and as much as this is my home, I don't necessarily fit here. I am an inbetweener. I am forever destined to feel just a little out of place in whatever country I live in.
I have a changed world view that I think only people who have spent a significant amount of time in another country (no offense to those of you that have gone on alternative spring breaks or traveled extensively but have never spent more than a month in one place but it's not the same), completely different than their own, will understand. Suddenly you stop looking at the world from one countries point of view and start looking at it from a global perspective. You learn about some countries (and in some cases American) are influencing and weilding power over others. You begin to question everything you were ever taught about the good guys and the bad guys. You learn a few things: Life is not black and white. Money is not a fix-all. The will of peopel to survive, and in most instances thrive, is awe inspiring. Cultures are differetn, people are the same.

With he prospect of going home becoming more of a reality by the week, I have had to ask myself the age old question of "What am I doing with my life?". In Western culture, you have to have a purpose, a goal, a 5 year plan, and a 10 year plan. This concept has caused me a lot of anxiety lately. Do I know what I want to do when I grow up? Yes. Do I have a 5 year plan? Kind of... I have a 4 year plan but only because I know it's how long it will take me to compelte school. Do I have a 10 year plan? No. Not even a little bit. Do I want to be married and have children? No idea. Do I want to own my own house? No idea. Do I want to be traveling internationlly to provide medical services to lesser served parts of the world? Kind of... but still, no idea.

One of the things that being here has taught me which I think is the most improtant lesson I have learned in Peace Corps is that you have to take things as they come. I have no idea what my future holds. I have hopes, but I do not have plans. The best experiences I have had since I have been here have happened with no plannign at all and I enjoy it more that way. I have made a promise to myself to try to live my life with a little less planning, to try to take opportunities as they come at me and to make the most of bad situations.
Bring it on year 2!

Moments That Make Me Laugh

Moments that make me laugh: 

1. Silent face offs with warthogs. Warthog in my way? I’m sure not moving.  I’ll lock eyes with it and silently challenge it to a game of chicken. Then walk directly at it and wait for it to be the one to move first. I stare at that warthog, each step bringing me closer to its hairy, ugly mug. I start to smell the mud its been rolling in and then just before I run directly into its side, it moves. And we both go on our merry way never to speak of our faceoff again.
2. Greeting children. When I walk through Kasane I am greeted by about 500 children who look at me and say “lekgoa” with their mouths open a little bit as if I am a mysterious unicorn pooping rainbows. I almost always respond with “dumela nana” which means “hello baby” followed by one of two things: “Le kae?” Or “Wa rang?“ I get a variety of answers but there are a few that stand out and make me laugh no matter what. My favorite is when I ask a really small child, like my 3 yr old neighbor, who responds in her tiny high-pitched voice “Sepe.” I don’t know why I enjoy this so much but it makes my day every time. The other answer that makes me laugh is really not an answer at all. Not all kids are used to seeing a random white girl walking through their neighborhood. A white girl that speaks Setswana is unthinkable. So when I ask them a question in Setswana they just stare at me with big eyes and their mouths open.  This could also be because they don’t understand me… I’m sure my accent isn’t perfect.
3. The child that refused to call me Tebogo. So I was walking to work one day and I hear a child call out lekgoa (white person). Lately I have been correcting the kids that live near me because they see me all the time. I say, in Setswana, “My name is not Lekgoa, my name is Tebogo.”  Most of the time the kids just repeat Tebogo then laugh like maniacs (A white girl with a Setswana name… LOL ROFL OMG). This kid looks at me straight in the eyes with a defiant smirk on his face, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Lekgoa”. I looked at him and had to turn around to keep myself from laughing in his face. I giggled about that one the rest of the walk to work.
4. The kids that use a tire as a spring to do fancy flip things. So I have been carrying around a charged camera or phone with me everywhere I go so I can capture more fun things. These little boys are probably my favorite to film. They see me coming home from work around half 4 and ask me to take pictures and film them doing their tricks. These kids have dug a tire into the ground and propped it so it works like a trampoline. So they back up into the bush and then run full speed toward this stationary tire. The jump on it and then fly in the air doing a full summersault with a half twist and land on their feet. The first time I saw them doing this I though for sure they would get hurt. Nope. These kids are little springs. They launch themselves into the air with no fear whatsoever. There are no mats or any padding whatsoever, just the sand. They make me happy every time I see them.
5. Baby elephants. They are the most awkward things in the world. They have all these parts that they don’t understand. I have seen baby elephants trying to get used to their trunks just flailing them around in the vicinity of a bush trying to snag some leaves. They aren’t very successful. Baby elephants also love to trumpet for no real reason. They may be trying to be intimidating, but I’m sorry, their little bodies just don’t make an intimidating sound. My favorite baby elephant is the one that was trying to be bold in guarding its “territory” by charging full speed at birds. He would swing his trunk, trumpet, and flap his ears then run as fast as he could at a group of birds. The birds would move then he would repeat this process. Eventually he got bored but he charged a good 7 times before that happened. 

The Things I Miss

Countdown of the 13 things I miss most from the good ole USA (it was supposed to be 20 but I literally cannot think of anything else…)

13. A washing machine/dryer- hand washing everything makes it die about 10x as fast as washing it in a machine.

12. Cell network/electricity/water that doesn’t go out- I think this is self-explanatory. It’s highly inconvenient...

11. Sushi- You can find it here but it’s not that good and extremely expensive for my meager PC budget.

10. Thai food/Greasy Chinese food- This should probably be #9 on my list but I realized how much I miss looking female.

9. Wearing makeup- I can’t do it here unless I know I will be in A/C all day. It will melt off my face before I even get to work. I look like a small male child here. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wear much makeup to begin with but anything I try to put on here turns into a sweaty mess in about 10 minutes. Again, the I miss being able to be pretty sometimes. 

8. Mexican food - I make some awesome chicken and black bean dishes but it’s not the same.  Someone hand me some real tacos and some tortilla chips.

7. Live Music- This. All the time. I miss it. And now it looks like I am going to have to miss the festival I was planning on going to here...

6. Dog- Dear Oscar, you are my favorite small dog I have ever partially owned. Please don’t bite me when I get home. I would tell mom to give you a hug for me, but let’s be real, you don’t like that. 

<3 Erica

5. My car- Walking has been great for my body but sometimes I stare at the hill I have to walk up and shed silent tears.

4. My bed- a piece of foam on a wood plank bed frame does not, a bed, make.

3. Hot showers/baths- having to sit in a cold plastic tub and dump warm water over your head does not count as a bath.

2. Friends- You know who you are and we’re going to party when I come home.

1. Family- All of you. Seriously. I will tackle hug all of you!

Oh, and you can add cheese somewhere in there. I’ll let you decide where I rank that in the order of importance.

Next up: Things I don’t miss from the states.

Peace Corps Life?

Hey everyone! I have been trying to write something for basically the entire month. Cleraly that has worked out well… I have been writing entries that are way to personal or just not interesting enough. I have written about fears, love, and baboons throwing their poo into the courtyard of my office. Yet somehow I can’t bring myself to actually post any of these. So I wrote one I CAN post. 

Life is normal here. I put on my business causal every day and walk to work, at one of two offices. It doesn’t change much. So I figure I will post my normal schedule for the day. 

This is boring to me but hey, you guys asked.

5:30 Wake up

5:31 Fall back asleep

6:00 (about) Wake back up for real this time

• Make coffee in my French press (what I wouldn’t give for some real filter coffee)
• Stare at the things in my kitchen trying to find something that sounds good for breakfast
• Can’t find anything
• Take coffee outside
• Turn on some music
• Check to make sure my shuffle is on the charger
• Sit on my couch and stare at the wall contemplating life
• Finally get up and find a dress/skirt and top
• There’s sand in it… and it kind of smells bad despite being clean… wear it anyway.
• General hygiene things and makeup if I’m feeling really motivated.
• Pack bag
• Feed cat
• Try and find shoes that aren’t trashed… put on Chacos anyway
• Stare at things in my kitchen… try to make lunch… put 3 apples into my bag instead
• Make sure doors to my room, kitchen and bathroom are closed, pet cat.
• Lock door
• Pop in headphones

7:10 Walk to work

• Greet people I know and people I don’t
• Give high fives to some of the kids I recognize/know
• Talk to some random person who has seen me walking before and wants to take me out drinking/wants a picture/wants money/wants to be my friend.
• OR talk to someone I am actually friends with which always makes my day
• Look out over Namibia and appreciate the beauty of my placement
• Avoid dogs/warthogs/baboons/elephants/drunk men
• Sweat… a lot… too much for walking down hill while it’s still a nice temperature

Then my day goes one of two ways:

Monday:

7:30 Arrive at work

• Get computer up and running
• Work on different formats for forms/planning meetings/work on schedule
• Get very overwhelmed by the amount of people in the small office all talking as loud as possible in Setswana

10:00 Finish all foreseeable work

10:10 Make coffee… drink coffee.

1:00-2:00 Lunch

Rest of the day:

• Eat apples
• Type thoughts
• Update schedule again and realize I have nothing to update
• Attend Meeting(s) mostly in Setswana and only understand about 50% of what is being said if I am concentrating a lot.
• Read a book
• Text people
• Walk to Spar (Grocery Store)/Hot Bread Shop (delicious) to get food
• Go to one of the NGOs to talk to the coordinator about some project or just to say hi
• Walk to the DHMT (District Health Management Team) to get some data or double check something
• Go talk to some of the women who run little produce stands outside the petrol station
• Try to understand what is going on in my office… emphasis on the try.
• When I run out of things to keep myself busy, I normally go home

Rest of the week:

7:50-8:00 Arrive at work

• Visit OVCs
• Plan meetings
• Attend meetings
• Fill out reports
• Update schedule and list of things to do
• Visit important members of the community (dikgosi, VDC, Government officials etc.)
• Visit different branches around the district
• Create plans of action for current and future programs
• Distribute aid
• Work through lunch
• Any number of other activities and programs

After work:

3:30-4:30 Walk home

• Go grab a small snack from one of the stands (sweet reed, cheese puffs, gum, coke, dried fruit, mango… or not
• Stop to talk to someone I know
• Stop in one of the shops to look at things I can’t afford
• Avoid stairs as long as possible
• Walk up hill and get to stairs
• Look up towards the sun, wipe sweat off face, sigh, tell a man no, I don’t want to give him my number or have him walk me home
• Sigh
• Walk up three flights of stairs in the burning sun
• Greet people I know and don’t know
• Give children high fives
• Slowly walk home

4:00-5:00 Get Home

• Prevent my cat from escaping the house as I open the door
• Complain about the heat
• Mop sweat off my face and chest
• Try to open windows to cool down the house
• Cat escapes
• Run after cat like a crazy person
• Catch cat
• Close windows
• Get a bottle of cold water and go outside
• Turn on music 

5:30 Walk to my counterparts house or meet my counterpart somewhere for a walk/run

6:30 Walk home

• Repeat process with cat
• Stare at the things in my kitchen trying to find something to eat
• Make an alright dinner (sometimes it’s great! This week I made spaghetti!)
• Turn on TV show/movie on my computer and eat dinner
• Do dishes while boiling water for a bath
• Pet cat
• Fill my bucket with half boiling water, half cold water
• Hear cat on the counter in the kitchen (normally the clattering of dishes falling clues me in)
• Remove cat from kitchen entirely because she cant handle that responsibility
• Sit in larger bucket, tub thing
• Bath (pouring yogurt cups of water from other bucket over my head)
• Hygiene things
• Make tea
• Take tea outside, turn on music
• Lock doors
• Fix mosquito net
• Lay in bed and read a book/write in my journal

9:00-10:00 Fall asleep

Sorry, I know that was boring. But it is literally what I do almost every day. For weekends, replace all the work things (let’s be real here not all of them because we always have events on the weekends), with doing laundry, waiting for laundry to dry, sweeping, mopping, cleaning house, and raking my yard/pulling weeds. Also add a lot more movies, tv shows, and spontaneous dancing around the house.

P.s. The President is coming to Kasane on Sunday. So I might meet the President of Botswana. It also means I get to help cook swana food all day!

Beef, Morogo and Phaleche!

Quick edit: 

I have learned a lot about food in the past few weeks. 

1. Batswana do know how to cook beef they just prefer it tough. 

2. The reason there is a bone in every piece of meat you get is because they like the connective tissue. It's like a treat. 

3. There is still an amazing amount of culture that surrounds the preparation of big meals (weddings, funerals, when the president decides at the last moment to come visit your district). I helped women cook 300 dipap this past weekend and it was so much fun! The women cook the bread and all the sides, the men cook the meat. This is what I have learned. 

I am literally learning new things every day here. Things I thought I knew turn out to be assumptions I made. I am 7.5 months in and still a baby when it comes to this culture. 

So here it is, the number one most requested post… Food.

The reason I have been avoiding this subject is not that I don't want to write about it, it's more because I don't know how to write about it. So Botswana is one of the most interesting places I have been in terms of food. It's not because there is this wonderful food culture with vibrant colors and flavors and a wonderful street food culture. No, it's not that. It's the exact opposite of that. There is no food culture here. I can tell you what people eat for every meal, every day, all year. It does't really change. The only thing that mildly differs is the kind of starch that goes with the meat and the spices they use (which don't vary that much to be honest). The food isn;t bad at all and in fact, I actually enjoy it. It's just that there isn't much variation of culture surrounding food. That being said, 

Typical Setswana meal:

• Extra large portion of starch- this can be a variety of different things from a porridge made of sorghum (with either sour milk or regular milk), phaleche (corn meal and water that is cooked until it's basically rubber. It's almost like grits... except not at all), or on very rare occasions, rice.
• Small portion of meat- Chicken or beef. The chicken is always butchered slightly oddly so you never know where a bone is going to pop out. In general the chicken is normally good and cooked well. The beef is either lovely dish called seswa (again the butchered spelling) which is dried, pounded beef that has been rehydrated. It's absolutely delicious when cooked well and salty, dry, and sometimes deadly (bones, bone fragments, large pieces of cartilage to choke on) when cooked badly. The other way they cook beef is to overcook it until it's so chewy you can't bite through it and you are left with this wad of partially chewed beef that if you swallow may get lodged in your throat (in fact as I write this I think I can feel a lump of undigested mystery cut beef in my throat from lunch). 
• Even smaller portion of green veg- Spinach or rape (yes this is a vegetable, kind of resembles and tastes like kale) that was either cooked to a fine mush or is dried into what I consider horse feed and rehydrated. It's often combined with cooked onions and enough salt to make a salt lick.

Other staples:

• Coleslaw (normal coleslaw with 'tangy' mayonnaise)
• Beetroot 
• Pasta salad 
• Potato salad (more 'tangy' mayonnaise)
• Seasoned steak fries 
• Samp (think mostly whole dried, cracked corn kernals) and beans (my favorite setswana food by far)
• Russians (weird, salty sausage hotdog things)
• Phologne (pulverized meat product… Basically bologna… almost. It's an acquired taste that I hope to never, ever acquire)

All of this is followed by a toothpick because of the beef that will inevitably get caught in your teeth. 

So when I come home and you all want me to make you a traditional Swana meal just be prepared for two servings of phaleche that had to be cooked until burnt on the bottom, mystery cut beef that has been cooked until you can't cut through it without a chainsaw, and a side of salty vegetables. If I can find samp I will cook it and you will love it. 

Now the thing is Botswana has some of the best beef in the world, but two variables contribute to how horrible it ends up being rubber and bones. 

1. The cuts are horrible. Cutting against the grain is a non-concept. Actually come to think about it I'm not sure how they cut their beef. I feel like whenever I eat meat there is a mystery bone in it. I don't know where these bones are coming from or, for that matter where on the cow the beef is coming from. 

2. Most people don't know how to cook it. I'm pretty sure it's just overcooked most of the time. I have never had beef this tough in my life. I always feel like a strange animal eating beef here. You will inevitably have to use your hands to help your teeth tear at the rubbery piece of "meat". 

I do not actually eat Swana food every day or even every week but I do really enjoy it whenever I eat it. Strangely it tastes like home. I just have to learn not to eat the beef… but it's so salty and nice. 

Oh I forgot to mention fat cakes and dipapata. Fat cakes are basically slightly sweet fried dough balls and are the best things ever. Dipap (as we PCVs fondly refer to them) are more or less like english muffins except fresh and warm and delicious…er. 

FOOOOD. I would post a song here but I'm being lazy and I won't, sorry. Not that sorry. 

Time is the longest distance between two places.

Hey everyone!
So I know it's been a while. Things have been busy this past month. I was lucky enough to start the new year with some wonderful friends, sparklers, puppies, and sparkling wine. This past month I was at IST (In-service Training) for almost three weeks all together. It was eventful and overwhelming at times but overall a great experience.
But I have a fun story about the trip down to Gaborone.

So to get to Gabs I have to take a combi (22ish person bus that is crammed to the breaking point with people and luggage) down to Francistown (6 hours) then another down to Gabs (another 5-6 hours). Theresa and Kim were staying the at my house to get an early combi out but I had to leave earlier than them so I could get to Serowe (extra 2.5 hours) to stay with my dear friend Anne. So at half 5, I left my house with my 45L bag on my back and my daypack on my front and waddled down the steps to the Kasane bus rank to catch the 6am combi to Francistown. When I got to the bus rank there were two combis there. One had clearly broken down and the second was leaking something. Both clearly safe... almost. So I got on the one that was leaking (aka the backup) and we started driving toward Kazungula… it was then that I realized that the combi was smoking a little. I was only a little worried so I stayed on. So here we are driving through the bush toward Pandamatenga and we here a BANG. The combi pulls over and apparently the tire has popped. They decide since we are only 20 minutes outside of Panda, we should probably just try to get there. So we get back in the combi and start driving away. The only problem is now the combi is shaking but it’s not horrible so we keep driving. Five minutes later we pass two hyenas running across the road 1k later we are shaking so violently the driver has no choice but to pull over.  Meanwhile I’m sitting in the back like “Uhhhhh did you not just see those animals that can kill us?!” So we pull over into the bush and all the men get out to stare at the flat tire. It is clear that none of these men have ever changed a tire before as they start doing all appropriate steps in reverse order. I’m standing in front of the combi at this point just watching them in disbelief. I turn around and just down the road (not even 1k) I see two elephants cross the road. All I could think was “This is where I die.” I was freaking out on the side of the road being made fun of by the Batswana that were with me and playing with a little girl I didn’t know. Great ways to pass the hour and a half wait for a backup combi. Also the mother of the little girl I was playing with was genuinely hoping I would take her and may have offered me money at one point... But, after the wait and an imagined animal attack on my part (I was ready to be one of the videos from “when vacations attack” or whatever that show was) I promise, I made it safely to Francistown and subsequently to Serowe and Gabs.
So I spent almost three weeks at a hotel in Gabs for IST after that. I got to sleep in air-conditioning for a majority of the time I was there and was able to take a hot shower or fifty. I was living in luxury. We learned a lot and spent a lot of time with each other which was probably the best part. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until I saw them in Gabs.

So, it's been six months since I came to Botswana and I can honestly say I have not only gotten used to life here but it is really beginning to feel like home. When I say I want to go home now, I am talking about my little house in Kasane, not my home in the US. Things are becoming so normal it is hard to distinguish what is new and what is old.
These past six months, a lot has stayed the same but a lot has changed. I have gained and lost friendships and relationships. I have become friends with some of the most wonderful people I have ever met. I have learned to (roughly) speak a completely different language. I learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of and a lot about human nature. I have learned what I require out of a working environment and I am learning to lower my expectations of the people around me and of myself (which may sound like a bad thing but it is the key to sanely making it day to day sometimes). I have learned a lot about happiness and as cliche as it sounds, the negative (and positive) effects of western culture. It takes very little to be happy and the constant greed and wanting that is engrained in some cultures is detrimental to the integrity and mental state of its people.
I think the most important thing I have learned in the six months I have been here is that I can do anything (again super cliche, but oh so true). I have sat through more meetings than I can count that are held in a language I do not fully understand but I am able to catch enough to pose relevant questions and get people to think from another perspective (sometimes). I am helping an organization write a grant for a project aimed at giving female sex workers another avenue to make money (I have never written a grant in my life). I have stepped so far out of my comfort zone I may as well be in a different country (oh wait). I pulled myself out of some pretty low spots (you know the whole frustrated to the point of punching things, crying hysterically, and wanting nothing more than to leave immediately). I think the accomplishment I am most proud of right now is my ability to walk down the road and greet people, not because I am just greeting people (what I did for the first few months), but because I actually know them.

It's been an amazing experience so far and I am very much looking forward to the next year and a half in Botswana. This is home.

Erica

Happy Valentines day! Hope you all have someone special to spend it with (even if it's your pet or a bowl of ice cream and a horror movie). 

The Baboons Destroyed My Compost And An Elephant looked At Me Weird

So it's rainy season in Botswana. Which basically means I never have clean clothes, everything smells like mold, there are mosquitoes everywhere, and my lawn is about to attract snakes...

But on the bright side, the animals have started staying in the bush a bit more so no elephants roaming the streets ruining fences (yay), everything is SO green (Botswana was a dry barren place when I first got here. It makes sense when you think about the fact that the country is 3/4 desert), mangos, and cooler temperatures (cooler than skin melting that is). 

I am at the very end of my community entry phase of PC service. I will be back in Gabs for the first time in 5 months next week. For the past few months all I have been doing is getting to know the place I will be working. I have done a lot of watching and question asking. I have met more people than I actually know. I probably meet a good 10 people a day. I also go on more walks than I ever have in my life (walking 4-12 miles a day). I am now putting together a massive report for Peace Corps relaying all the information I have found out about my community. I will also be putting together a rough outline of issues and suggestions to solve them/suggested projects. 

I'm ready to really start work about now. Come February I will be hitting the ground running with my counterpart at the Red Cross. I will also be the new (stand in) Monitoring and Evaluation officer for the District Aids Council (basically I get to gather data, put it into an official report, and send it off to the national agency). I'm actually really excited about this one. I'll get to know a lot of really important people pretty well this way. But besides that I am hoping to put together some kind of young woman's club in the lower socioeconomic area of Kasane called Kapamadi. Then there will probably be a few smaller projects. I'm really excited basically. There's a lot of work to do and not much time to do it. 

So actually the main reason I wanted to write this is to tell you guys about this wonderful thing I am doing instead of a new years resolution. A full year of behavior change is super daunting to think about but something like a month seems much more manageable and will also result in more behavior change (in my opinion) than trying to rough it for a year. So what I am doing (an idea that was in a PC news letter a few months ago) is doing a year of "month of". A different thing for every month. and once the new month starts, the previous "month of" does not have to be continued. Some of these are harder than others and some are strategically placed. But here it is, my new years resolution. 

2014:

January- This one's kind of personal.

February- Daily meditation

March- Daily journaling

April- Daily new music 

May- Vegan (p.s. I'm not veggie anymore. So this will be interesting)

June- Reading (at least 10? books in the month)

July- Home cooked (Everything I eat must be home made. It's something I have always wanted to do)

August- Daily exercise 

September- Daily exploring 

October- 1/2 hour a day job searching/grad school research

November- Daily gardening/yard work

December- Letters (because this year's christmas cards went so well... I still have them)

So those of you that can or talk to me often, push me to actually do this. So far so good :)

Questions? Comments? Nothing?

Cool

Erica (Tebogo)