Dumela! Again.

I know it's been a long time since my last post. A lot has happened and at the same time if feels like nothing has happened. My life in Botswana has become normal. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. It's just like a normal work day in America (a bit different) but in a different country. Botswana is suprisingly like America. When you get down to the basics, everyone is trying to find their own happiness no matter what country they live in. People have families just like they do in the states, people spend the weekends with friends, people have 8-4:30 jobs that they sometimes love and sometimes hate. I'm past my one year mark as a Peace Corops volunteer. How do I feel? The same yet completely different. It's funny becasue you hear people say that Peace Crops will change you and I am here to say that it is 100% true, but, it's not always in the way you think it will.

When I got here I was basically the same as I am now. I was a bit (okay a lot) more ignorant about culture here, I had no idea what I was coming into, but I still held the same values and similar beliefs that I do now. I am, at a basic level, completely the same. So how have I changed?
I am a citizen of the world. When I think about identifying myself with one country or nationality, It is overwhelming. I think about my life in America and I don't see how I could possibly fit back where I was. I think about my life here, and as much as I love it and as much as this is my home, I don't necessarily fit here. I am an inbetweener. I am forever destined to feel just a little out of place in whatever country I live in.
I have a changed world view that I think only people who have spent a significant amount of time in another country (no offense to those of you that have gone on alternative spring breaks or traveled extensively but have never spent more than a month in one place but it's not the same), completely different than their own, will understand. Suddenly you stop looking at the world from one countries point of view and start looking at it from a global perspective. You learn about some countries (and in some cases American) are influencing and weilding power over others. You begin to question everything you were ever taught about the good guys and the bad guys. You learn a few things: Life is not black and white. Money is not a fix-all. The will of peopel to survive, and in most instances thrive, is awe inspiring. Cultures are differetn, people are the same.

With he prospect of going home becoming more of a reality by the week, I have had to ask myself the age old question of "What am I doing with my life?". In Western culture, you have to have a purpose, a goal, a 5 year plan, and a 10 year plan. This concept has caused me a lot of anxiety lately. Do I know what I want to do when I grow up? Yes. Do I have a 5 year plan? Kind of... I have a 4 year plan but only because I know it's how long it will take me to compelte school. Do I have a 10 year plan? No. Not even a little bit. Do I want to be married and have children? No idea. Do I want to own my own house? No idea. Do I want to be traveling internationlly to provide medical services to lesser served parts of the world? Kind of... but still, no idea.

One of the things that being here has taught me which I think is the most improtant lesson I have learned in Peace Corps is that you have to take things as they come. I have no idea what my future holds. I have hopes, but I do not have plans. The best experiences I have had since I have been here have happened with no plannign at all and I enjoy it more that way. I have made a promise to myself to try to live my life with a little less planning, to try to take opportunities as they come at me and to make the most of bad situations.
Bring it on year 2!